bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize