I want to have your abortion
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize