That's intense
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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