why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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