Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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