I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
he just fucked me for my cheese.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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