I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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