So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
