I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
