By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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