she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
