I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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