just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize