Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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