I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Mom said you looked used
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
