why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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