arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize