after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
