So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
