? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
