are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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