yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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