So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
