Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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