the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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