Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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