Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
