You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
