I seem to have left my pride at pride
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
