I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
