just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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