i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
too bad you live with your parents still
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
