How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
