you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize