so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize