She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
