Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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