Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
