yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
