why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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