Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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