I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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