apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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