somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
