hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
