Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
