can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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