Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
