when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
