2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
