You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
