she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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