I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize
