It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
