Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
