is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize