i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
