When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
