i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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