look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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