Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
