just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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