The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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