I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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