My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
